Advice for the fellas in relationships

LISTEN UP, IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP, I HAVE SOME GREAT ADVICE FOR YOU. 

I've been romantically dealing with women for nearly 20 years and at times I thought I knew it all, especially when I was young.  Go ahead and laugh cause I am too.  But as I have grown older, I have come to realize that we as men will NEVER understand women, and I do mean NEVER.  With that in mind, I have a great piece of advice for all the fellas out there.  Are you sitting down???  Because coming from me, this may shock you.

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!

That right fellas, S H U T U P.  See, often times, women's arguments are either based on emotion or presented with emotion.  There are two problems with this:
1.  Men tend to be much more logical than emotional so it's hard for us to agree with emotion based arguments.
2. Emotion is the UNDISPUTED, UNDEFEATED CHAMPION OF ARGUMENTS.   Emotions are never wrong because you can't tell a person how they are feeling is the wrong way to feel.  That just makes them more upset.  

People feel how they feel and that's just it.  Logic and emotion are like oil and water; they just don't mix.  The best way to fight emotion is with silence.  So while your girl is japping on you, just don't say anything.  I mean, for what???  You can't win anyway.  Just let her say what she has to say.  Only respond if asked and try to keep your comments as neutral as possible.  WHY??? Because all we want any way is silence and to be left alone and the more you argue with her, the more talk, the more frustrated you will become.  So just SHUT UP!  When she is done, she walk off anyway and you both win.  She got to snap on you and you got to be left alone.  Now that's what I call a WIN/WIN SITUATION. 

What's the Problem???

Why do women have such a big issue with their men watching sports???  Ya'll watch your reality TV shows, soap operas, cooking shows, silly sitcoms, etc., and we could care less.  But if we want to watch the game, even if you don't have nothing to say, you make a face like someone is trying to pluck your eyebrows with chop sticks!!!  Is is really that painful to let me watch the game???  Does it really bother you that much???  What is the big deal???

Can my ladies PLEASE explain this to me???

"How do you beat Bobby Fischer? Play him in anything but chess" Warren Buffet

Please, Don't Do It!!!

I just heard that LeBron James got engaged to his long time girlfriend and mother of his children.  Now while most would people, especially women, will applaud this decision and say “it’s about time”, I say NOOOOO!!!DON’T DO IT!!!  LOL

            I mean for what?  Why would any rich, famous, powerful man get married?  I mean come on dude; you know that you’re going to cheat.  You have beautiful women throwing themselves at you every day.  What type of man can resist that type of temptation?  Now for women, this may be no big deal because they are used to being hounded by men.  But for men, this is not a regular occurrence.  We are the hunters; we pursue the women and make all the effort to get them for the most part.  But for a rich man, a man with fame and/or power, he lives in different world.  He is now the equivalent of a beautiful woman.  

First of all, he rarely hears the word “no”.  Women he has only dreamed about are now not only within his reach, but they are after him.   And while I don’t condone cheating on any level for any reason, I do understand how and why it happens.  And the likelihood of men in his position cheating is about 95%.  Why would you risk millions of dollars on your ability to stay faithful when there is a significant chance that you will cheat?

            Secondly, it is a horrible business decision.  Whether you like it or not, when you sign that marriage certificate, you have signed a legal binding agreement.  Why would you enter into a partnership where you are the only one bringing something to the table, that has a 50% rate of failure, that won’t make you any money, and will cost only YOU money if things don’t work out?  Now that’s just plain stupid!

           

            Third, how do your really know this woman loves you?  Now, I’m strictly addressing a situation where these men have met these women after they are already rich.  Think about it for a second.  I believe that love is proven when someone does for you when they have nothing to gain.  When you are rich, when are you ever in this position?

1. You have given her everything.  She is rich and has upped her status tremendously.  She has a beautiful home(s), VIP everything, the finest in clothes cars, dream vacations, etc.
2. No matter what ya’ll go through, at the end of your worst day, SHE IS STILL RICH.  Her motivation to be there for you is the money.  And while you can’t prove that money is her motivation, HOW DO YOU KNOW IT ISN’T?
3. If things don’t work out, you have to give up a lot of what you worked hard to obtain but receive NOTHING IN RETURN.  She, on the other hand, gives up nothing (except for some of the things YOU provided for her) and gets money and assets that she did absolutely nothing to earn and even maintains her status most times.  Even with a pre-nup, she comes out on top.

Now don’t take this post as me being anti-marriage.  I believe in marriage and I’m looking forward to one day being married myself.  I just don’t think it makes any sense for a RICH, POWERFUL, AND/OR FAMOUS MAN TO GET MARRIED—OR WOMAN EITHER FOR THAT MATTER.

Arguments are like fire, they need oxygen to survive.

What Happened???

What has happened to my people?  What happened to shame?  We talk loud in public with the worst English imaginable and think that it is funny.  Little children ask perfect strangers for money like it is no big deal.  Men wear their pants below their ass and women have their asses hanging out like drug dealers on the corner.  What happened to respect?  What happened to respecting your elders, teachers, and PARENTS?  How dare you talk back to the ones that raised you, feed you, and put clothes on your back?  How dare you continue to sit down while allowing someone twice your age to remain standing?  This same someone who fought the battles and wars that allow us to ride the bus today.  How could you disrespect the people that have dedicated their life to teaching you what you needed to be successful in life?  What happened to “it takes a village….”? 

Your child is outside acting like a fool and when I reprimand them, you have a problem with ME?  This is the same parent who won’t go to parent/teacher conferences, won’t attend report card pick up day, and won’t return the teachers phone calls, but if they take your child’s cell phone away, you will call off work to show up and get the phone back the next day.  What happened to black pride?  Instead you are proud of being a nigga.  You are proud of being hood.  In reality, you are proud of being ignorant. 

What happened to “working twice as hard to get half as far”?  Though it wasn’t fair, this mind set is what my parents and their parents used to push them to succeed thru all odds and over all obstacles.  That has been replaced with “work half as hard and expect twice as much” and “getting something for nothing” and you wonder why we don’t have anything. What happened to accountability?  You come to work late, do a half-ass job and when you get written up, the first thing you say to your friends and co-workers is “they on bullshit”. 

What happened to saving?  What happened to investing?  You work hard everyday just to buy the latest overpriced name brand clothes; cars you can’t afford with rims you don’t need all the while still living in an impoverished neighborhood.  What happened to families?  What happened to fathers and mothers?  Men take more pride in how many women they slept with than in raising their kids.  Women spend more time on their hair and make-up than they do on helping their children with their homework.  What happened to accomplishments?  We throw bigger parties for brothers coming home form jail than we do for college graduates.  It is great to be proud of your hood, but when you are proud to still be in the same place you started from, there is a problem.  You should want to elevate and progress.  You can not win a race if you never leave the starting blocks. 

What happened to crime not being cool?  Why do drug dealers get more respect than doctors, lawyers, and educators?  What happened to wanting to be more than an athlete or a rapper?  While I’m on the subject, what happened to Hip Hop?  Hip Hop burst on to the scene and exploded because people just like you and I were poetically telling their stories over innovative beats.  We fell in love with Hip Hop because it was based on true stories and experiences. It was as if for the first time, someone understood what our life was like.  It was rhyme vs. rhyme, using wordplay, metaphors, and incredible skill. Now it is just a bunch of fake thugs talking about their clothes, money, sexual exploits, and made up street credibility.  This is Hip Hop, it is our culture, and it is real life.  It is not the movies. 

And, by the way, what happened to black movies?  Why is it that the only thing we can make a movie about is relationships or the hood?  Why can’t we have a drama, a mystery, or a comedy that is not based in the hood or on relationships?  What happened to good black TV shows?  The Cosby Show, The Jeffersons, Good Times, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, A Different world?  What happened to BET?  How can Black Entertainment Television owned and operated by white people really be for us?  What happened to talent?  Why do we act as if the only way to get famous is by acting as ignorant and as hood as possible?  Why do feel the need to promote negative stereotypes and expose the ills of our culture?  What other race does this?  What race constantly degrades their women by referring to them as “bitches” and “hoes”?  What race brags about being criminals as if killing with no remorse and selling drugs is something to be admired?  I will tell you, none!  What happened to progress?  Have we even made any lately?  Would the ones who scratched and clawed for us to get this far be proud of us?

Our parents, grand parents, great grandparents, etc…..worked their asses off, struggled and fought, shed blood, sweat, and tears so that we could have a better life than they did and this is how we repay them?  They went through hell and back so we could enjoy the things that they were not given the opportunity to experience or even know about.   Are we really just going to disrespect all their sacrifices by forgetting everything they did and everything they gave up by glorifying ignorance, accepting laziness, and promoting disrespect and materialism?  WHAT HAPPENED TO US?